Ma'a Salama Jordan

I am currently sitting at the terminal of the Queen Alia airport, waiting to board the first flight that will take me to Dubai and another that will take me to Washington Dulles.  In many ways, I am excited for this trip and beyond excited to be heading back to America and the comfort of my own home.

Speaking of home, last night Mama and Leen surprised me while I was packing with beautiful parting gifts.  Leen bought me a beautiful beaded pearl-eque necklace and Mama brought me a cuffed bracelet.  I was touched by these gifts, and will cherish them as momentos of the good memories I made with my host family.

I had a cheerful but also poignant exchange with my host family last night after I had finished stuffing my plethora of souvenirs and clothes into my suitcases.  I timidly went into the living room, where the family was watching television, and told them that I had a wonderful time in Jordan, that they were great as a host family, and that although I wish my Arabic had been better I enjoyed my experience.  They in turn told me that they were glad to hear this and that they had always hoped to make the house a home for me.  Touched by the exchanged, I spent the rest of the night contemplating my host family experience.

There were barriers to communication between me and the family because I did not know Arabic and had not come to Jordan to study the language (though I did pick up quite a bit during my stay!).  At times, my schedule prevented me from interacting fully with the family - they were often busy traveling or working.  Dalia, who I shared a room with, often did not come home until midnight due to her shop keeping part-time job.

Regardless, being with a host family was a greatly immersive experience.  It gave me perspective about the culture of the city; I realized that many Arab and Muslim families were not much different from Western families.  This is definitely not true of all families, but Mama often walked around the house scantily clad, and my host sisters would stay out very late hanging out with friends. 

It was also a great place to come back to after a frustrating day dealing with Shebabs and taxi drivers and realize that this was not the dominant Jordanian culture.  My host brother and Baba were so respectful of women and considerate that it was easy to forget the annoyance of other men.

When I look back on my experiences, I remember the day to day of going to work, eating Middle Eastern cuisine, working out, blogging, reading, and talking.  However, the excursions and trips to different areas of the country were what made the experience.  I cannot believe that I can tell people that I had the wonderful experience of swimming in the dead sea, or of exploring Petra, or of riding a camel, or of exploring castles, or of staying with a Bedouin tribe.  And yet even these experiences were part of the day to day of our stay, which makes it even more incredible and dream-like.

A girl from our program compiled a video montage of our stay - listening to the music and watching all of the glorious and best times of the experience literally brought me to tears, which is a huge feat because I almost never cry when I leave places. I did not cry when our family moved, nor when I left my grandparents home in China, nor even when I graduated high school.  Yet I cried thinking back on Jordan.

In time I may miss my daily taxi rides, the Mansaf, the Arabic, and even our cultural immersion classes at SIT.  Even now, sitting at the terminal of the airplane, it does not seem real that I am leaving the country.  Yet I know that in a few minutes time, I will be sailing in the sky, saying goodbye to the vast, dry expanse of dessert and goodbye to Amman.  Rather than being greeted by the gold of the sands of Amman, I will see the green of trees and the blue of water.

One More Iftar

My suitcase is sitting at the edge of my bed, half full with clothes and stuffed with souvenirs and trinkets.  I remember folding my clothes earlier this morning and being beyond excited that I would be coming back to the states.  Now I am starting to realize how much I will miss many parts of Amman.  However, I will save the sentimental and reflective post for tomorrow, the night before I actually leave.

Where to start? Pre-departure we were required to finish a DukeEngage evaluation of our program that had me really thinking back on my experience both in a group and culturally.  There are many parts of the program that I enjoyed, such as the Southern Excursion, but there is also much room for improvement.  I believe my trip would have been much better if I had a roommate, and this was my biggest complaint.  In addition our program de-valued the group experience - there was minimum team bonding.  Being separated not only through our homestays but also through our work was perhaps not the best idea.  And although our program directors had good intentions, it was frustrating to see how unorganized some parts of the program were, especially with respect to communication.

But anyways, back to the experience.

Yesterday our group embarked on our last excursion - Ajloun and Jerash.  I was mildly disappointed with our first stop at Ajloun; although the area houses a nature reserve, our program only arranged for us to see the ruins of a castle.  I have seen way too many castle ruins already that they are already old news (haha I cannot believe that I am saying this), and we pushed towards our next destination.

I have been fasting incredibly casually throughout Ramadan, and decided to snack throughout the duration of the trip.  However, several members of our group were still full out fasting, no food or water.  I can only imagine the difficulty that they endured as we were hiking, trekking, and climbing. Props to them!

As we descended into Jerash, I was dumb-founded by the fact that the ruins are located in the middle of a city!

 The architecture was reminiscent of Roman styles, and paths were lined with ionic pillars.  The walking paths were also lined with carved stone rather than simple dirt paths, making the process of walking much easier than in Petra.  I was wonderful to just walk around, imagining how the ancients wandered through the city.  The  city was complete with a Roman-style ampitheater that contained a sweet spot in the middle where voices from the bottom of the theater could project to the steps at the top.

There were monuments and temples carved into the rocks. And pillars. And more pillars. Pillars pillars pillars pillars.  It seems the Jordanians concentrated all of their pillars into one city and one location because they reserved middle eastern architecture for the rest of the country.

After leaving Jerash, we headed over to Iftar at the Tel Al-Rumman resort, a fancy spa and restaurant that is near the Royal Botanic Gardens.  As we arrived almost 2 hours before Iftar, we found the place almost entirely deserted.  To pass the time, we played a game.  We had post-it notes taped to our forehead with the names of somebody dead, alive, or fictional and had to ask people questions to find out our name.  Round one concluded with me discovering that I was Rosie Williams - a fellow DukeEngage student.  Round two was interrupted by the arrival of our program coordinators (but I found out later that my note read Anastasia).  I have realized that I am not so great at asking narrowing questions, but that playing these games is a great source of fun!

Dinner was buffet-style, with traditional rice, meat, and salad dishes.  After the meal was over, we were serenaded with Arabic music and regaled with energetic dancing.  A small boy on stage, twirling and twirling gracefully for at least an hour in a style reminiscent of ballroom or latin.  All in all, an enjoyable experience for our last SIT dinner!

And today I had a productive day as well. Post-workout, I finished souvenir shopping and even snagged myself some nail polish in the process.  After shopping, another iftar outside of the house!  We were invited to the home of Naser Tahboub, a political science professor at the University of Jordan who is also a Duke alumni.

I committed the social faux pas of being the first one to arrive at the party: my taxi driver was very familiar with the neighborhood Professor Tahboub resided in and got me there in a speedy manner.  Anyways, my host was gracious enough to give me a tour of his spacious yard and the inside of his beautifully decorated house.  Apparently he lives across the street from the King's Uncle and also resides in the same neighborhood as many wealthy entrepreneurs.  Given the relatively luxuriousness of his house, I certainly believe it.

Dinner was standard Jordanian cuisine, but I met many of his lovely relatives.  We conversed about taking the SATs, choosing a career, being sexually harassed as a woman, and many other topics.  One woman, Mays, was on her way to becoming a doctor when she had a change of heart during her final year of university and changed to business.  It was great to listen to her talk about the lack of an innovative education program in Jordan (everything is memorization) and about her wish to travel the world.  I wish I had met these ladies earlier and discussed more.

Tomorrow, I will have to finish packing. Parting will truly be bittersweet - I miss home, but I know that I will soon miss Jordan after being home.  It is time to make the most of my tomorrow, my last day.

Saying Goodbye to the Gardens

Today begins the last five days that our group has in this county, and it was also the last day that I had at work.

Although I was originally tasked with writing grants and had my own project with crafting an environmental policy framework, those projects were finished very quickly (too quickly for my taste).  As of the last few days, my job involved completing odd jobs such filling out applications to invite new interns as well as reorganizing the library system in the office.  Though I was ready to be done with the odd jobs, I was not ready to say goodbye to the people from my work.

I work in a small office, and got quite close to both of my bosses (see my earlier post about James and Habiba).  Tareq, the CEO of the Gardens also frequently comes to chat with me.  Though he is Jordanian, he speaks perfect English and is well-versed in Chinese.  He grew up in Taiwan, where he went to international school - I have learned that almost all of the wealthy families send their children to international school out of the country.  His sister continues to live in Shanghai and is perfectly fluent in Chinese, and he tells me that he visits often.  I have often joked with him that he's probably been to more places in the US and China than I have, which is rather shameful.

I was introduced to the Princess herself when she came in to work, which is quite rare.  I think that she was surprised to meet me and may not have even know that I had been working in the office for weeks.  She was reserved and seemed startled, which would explain why she did not say much when Tareq introduced us.  However, she was nevertheless friendly.

Anyways, my goodbye today was rather awkward because I had to interrupt a meeting to say goodbye to Tareq and Habiba.  However, it was nevertheless very heartfelt and Habiba hugged me very tightly, making me promise that I would keep in touch.  Both she and Tareq were very adamant that I had done a great job at work and should contact them in the future if I needed any references.  What sweethearts.

On a brighter note, I had the most lovely dinner yesterday night.  Rosie, a fellow DukeEngager who works at the Jordan Media Institute (JMI), invited us over to her boss's luxury apartment in Abdoun.  I had anticipated a standard Jordanian household with a feast of rice, chicken, and pita.  

But everything about the dinner was ten times better than I had ever hoped.  We were greeted by quietly clear classic music, including some violin concertos that I had played from Suzuki.  His apartment was beautifully decorated with abstract oil paintings (which were done by his brother, a well-known artist in Jordan, how wonderful!), his living room was tastefully arranged to have plenty of open space, and there were piles of travel books stacked across the coffee tables. Simply perfection.

He and his wife were British Jordanians, and it was intriguing to listen to their experiences traveling between cultures.  Before working in Jordan, he had worked at the ITN and BBC and reported various conflicts throughout the middle east.  They were both incredibly well traveled, having visited and even lived in many countries in the Middle East, Europe, and Asia.

And the food was superb.  Rosie made the (great) mistake was telling her boss that we were all vegetarian.  They put together a delicious vegetable-based cuisine that continued quinoa, salad, simmered eggplants, stuffed crispy cheese rolls, and the most delicious vegetarian lasagna ever.  I had to stop myself from going back over and over again.  Then his wife brought out dessert - American style apple crumble! It was the best meal I could possibly hope for, with wonderful company.  

During dinner, we talked with him and his wife about our experiences in Jordan, especially with regards to feeling unsafe when walking down the streets and harassment by youth males (shebabs).  Although that part of the trip has been less than ideal, I have begun to realize that it is particularly directed towards tourists and is not incredibly common for upper-class women.  How interesting.

Nevertheless, it was an incredibly night.  All of these events are bringing our trip full circle. Tomorrow we head for one more excursion - this time to Jerash.  This was a famous ancient religious area and is now a tourist area that hosts a famous summer dance and music festival.  After Jerash we will go to Ajloun, an outdoorsy region that is famous for its wildlife reserve and acts a tourist hiking region.  This sounds like so much fun and I can't wait until we get to see these places tomorrow! 

This Place I Call Home

This is the last week of my trip before I leave the country to return to America.  It is just a week longer that I will remain in Jordan, and even less time that I have at my job!

If you had asked me at the beginning of my trip if I would be missing this country, I would have given a mixed answer that bordered on no.  I was the only student in my group that was relegated to my own host family, unlike some of the other DukeEngage kids I was also working at my own organization, and there were no outside interns from other colleges or even highschools within my office to boot.  I also spoke no Arabic and did not know how to navigate myself through what seemed to be an immense city streaming with activity of all kid, both benevolent and .... not.

Of course, all of that changed throughout my stay.  I connected with my wonderful, attentive, generous host family and delighted in the company of my co-workers.  Our DukeEngage group not only became familiar with parts touristy parts of the city but began to immerse within Jordanian culture.  We explored all parts of the country, from other cities to Bedouin villages to the dessert and natural wonders.  I picked up the language and held my own against wolf-whistles and brazen taxi-drivers.  I bartered at shops, I realized exactly how late to show up at work so that I wouldn't be the first one waiting outside, learned to throw my toilet paper in the trashcan instead of the toilet, could cross highways brazenly during rush hour, stopped even noticing the military men standing outside with their rifles, and even felt comfortable engaging with locals.

One day I woke up and forgot that I was in another country, that I was in somebody else's home.  This country and home felt like my own, and still does.

What will it be like to return to the United States?  I wonder if it will take me some time to realize that I could drive around the roads in my own car instead instead of waiting for a taxi.  I wonder if it will feel strange that nobody blatantly stares at me whenever I walk around because I look different (...I sure hope not).  Or how long it will take me to realize that I can dress freely without worrying about harassment.

I wonder how long it will take me to fearfully miss my Jordan family and the people at work.

Like Hala, the cheerful Somalian receptionist at work always greets me at work with a smile.  On my first day of work, she happily directed me through the office (especially the kitchen and bathroom, the necessities as she called them) and then took me downstairs to the cafeteria to buy lunch.  Today she was gleefully running through the office, joking with the researchers, and told me that I looked like "an Indian princess from Disney" as she tugged on my braid.  As much as I disagree with this, I know that I will miss her.

I'm not so sure.............

And then there's my host sister Leen and my Mama.  Two days ago Mama's brother hosted a Ramadan party and invited their very large family over for Iftar (besides her and her brother she also has five other sisters).  Yes it was slightly awkward because they were all speaking in Arabic, but Mama and Leen would often come over and hug me, chat with me, encourage me to sample more of the traditional dishes.  At home we talk about Islam, Jordan culture, Egypt, and the work they do with refugees.  They are kind hearted people.

Yesterday I went to fast-walk again (read my earlier post about this for information).  Hala, one of the girls I had met last time, called me and asked if I was coming, to which I cheerfully acquiesced.  I was surprised that my Mama didn't blink an eye when I said I would be gone from 10pm to past midnight, but then again everyone stays out very late for Ramadan.

I met up with Omar and his friends at the fastwalk, including two high school girls who wanted to study abroad in America.  Olivia, a DukeEngage girl, was there with her adorable little host sister.  Omar and I met up with Hala, who brought Charlotte - a high-school girl she was hosting from New York, a quarter of the way through the walk.

To be perfectly honest, I had been dreading the walk before.  I was tired, it was dark, and the place was far from my home.  But talking with Hala, Charlotte, and Omar, I had a wonderful time!  They are also sweet and kind people - Omar even jumped over the railing of the highway to pick up my phone when I dropped it!  They were also very mature and responsible for their age, already working and talking about traveling through the world on their own.  They seem genuinely very interested in American culture and Asian culture and passionate about life.  At the conclusion of the walk, I was invited to spend time with them downtown in Amman next week and I can't wait to go with them!  Hala even offered to drive me home because she was worried that the taxi drivers would be dangerous at night (despite my protestations that I had gone back many times and it was quite safe).

Amman and Jordan have both its good and its bad, but don't all cities? With the friends I've made, the love of the culture and city that I have developed, I know that boarding the plane next week will be bittersweet. I will make sure to savor every second that I have left.

Iftars upon Iftars

During Ramadan, life seems to trickle to a halt within Jordan's society and become a life of fatigue, stress, and food.  Even though the day is supposed to go on as usual, let's face it - everyone wakes up at least four hours later than usual due to the fact that they had to get up and eat a meal at 3:30 in the morning (called Suhoor) and also to avoid feeling hunger for great lengths throughout the day.

Yesterday our group was invited to the home of Natalie's aunt to enjoy an Iftar feast.  Her entire family turned up for the celebration, and we were introduced to multitudes of aunts, uncles, and cousins.  Her aunt lives in a large house in the wealthy district of Khalda, a rarity in Amman.  We chatted around the living room for what seemed like eternity, waiting for the clock to strike 7:50.  As Iftar neared, we were sheparded outside into a beautiful patio deck, where massive plates of sealed dishes were waiting.

However, I have decided that nothing beats "Iftar" with the family.  When I am at home with my host family, I can appreciate the vast amount of effort that goes into preparing and cooking a meal on an empty stomach, as each dish takes an hour to make.  The meals are a labor of love from the ladies of the house!  At 7:50, the entire family gathers around the table and savors their cup of water with a sweet date.  Today, I was treated to Maqluba and stuffed grape leaves.

After Iftar, our group met at the Cantina Cafe to discuss our work and homestay experiences thus far.  Though the general consensus was that our stay has been enjoyable, many students brought up issues they had at work.  It seems that the slow pace of Ramadan has gotten to everyone, and many are dissatisfied with the slow and unproductive pace of their work.  Many students suggested improvements for next year's program, including shortening the stay, introducing a group component of the internship such as a joint project, and having more basic Arabic training before we separated into homestays.

We also celebrated Natalie's 20th birthday at the Cantina Cafe, and I couldn't help but grin at her sheepish face with the restaurant began playing birthday music at full blast and our large group sang to her in english as the rest of the restaurant watched on.  What a delightful way to end the evening!

The only downside is that Marissa, a DukeEngager who lives close by, is going to leave us early and return to the United States.  She said goodbye to us from the cafe, and we hugged her goodbye. I know that I, as well as the rest of the group, will sorely miss her presence during Ramadan.

Ramadan Kareem

I experienced a moment of pure happiness when the first bites of soup hit my lips.  The growling within my stomach was demanding that I feed, the parched feeling on my lips was demanding that I drink, yet the stillness within my house and the neighborhood demanded that I not move.

As I drifted in and out of sleep, I realized that if I did not have sustenance soon I would simply fall asleep and wake up the next morning post-coma.  Soon, I was awoken by a blaring alarm and loud voices emanating from the television, announcing that it was "iftar" - time to break the Ramadan fast.  

My host family had rushed to the kitchen, each clutching a sweetened date and glass of water that marked the fast-breaking ritual.  I joined in as they ladled out cups of soup and salad - one always breaks the fast with watery food before careening into rice with zucchini and yogurt.  What a feast!

Ramadan is a time of peace, where people become more in touch with their spirituality and faith.  I am starting to see how this is definitely the case; it takes every ounce of spirituality to plow on through with work and the day without drinking or eating, overcoming physical sensations. And to imagine 30 days of this!

My sister Leen informed me that one always eats an odd number of dates to break the fast.  Although this is simply tradition, it apparently has some scientific backing as well.  If you eat an odd number of dates, the sugar from the dates goes into your bloodstream to energize you rather than accumulating into fat.

...I'm not at all sure how that works, but I used it to justify my eating of the dates. They were very delicious indeed!

But enough about Ramadan! Last night I had a blast partaking in a fabulous local experience.  So for the longest time I assumed that almost nobody around the city exercised.  Gym memberships are sparse, and it is near impossible to see anybody jogging through the streets.  However, what I realized was that many people participated in an event called "Fastwalk". 

Once every three days a local group sponsors an event, whereby youths across Jordan put on their yellow vest and walk 10 kilometers through the city!  Anyone is welcome to join, as long as you wear a yellow vest and follow the event's rules, and many people do.  Two other girls from my DukeEngage group and I decided to participate, despite this walk being from 10pm until midnight. But alas, I really wanted to explore the city and squeeze in an exercise.

I was blessed to befriend several locals during my walk, Omar and Hala. We discussed everything from college life to social stereotypes to our future career goals.  They were genuine and energetic, making me feel very welcome through the walk which left me energized rather than tired by the end of our journey!  We exchanged numbers and I hope to see them again, whether through fastwalk or outside of it.

As I reflect back on my journey, I feel so blessed to have learned so much, met so many great people, and done so much great work. I cannot believe I only have two more weeks left in this wonderful country.

A New Earth

Coming back to Amman has brought with it familiar sounds, sites, and experiences.  And of course there are the same old stresses - arguing with taxi drivers early in the morning who pretend their meters are broken, sipping tea and pounding out papers at work, fidgeting with the internet connection at home.

Yesterday our DukeEngage group was again invited to the US embassy (in my previous post I mentioned how we went for the first time because the ambassador graduated from Duke.)  We were greeted by delicious desserts - trays of exotic sweets such as baklava and more traditional bets such as snickerdoodles and chocolate chip cookies.

As I munched away and tried to fend off a sugar rush, we were introduced to other Duke prospects and graduates who lived in Jordan.  Among them was a rambunctious old man who taught political science at the University of Jordan.  He regaled us with his story of how he lived and partied on Central Campus and laughingly flirted with his amused British research assistant.  He also invited us to his house for Ramadan dinner.

Speaking of Ramadan, the fasting will begin tomorrow.

I am both excited and apprehensive about taking part in this cultural experience.  On one hand, I have so much respect and admiration for the Muslims for the act of fasting for 16 hours everyday for a month.  No food, no water, no smoking, no cursing... The goal of this experience is identification and connection with faith and cultivation of virtues such as patience.  One the other hand, I am not sure of how long I can join in without cracking under the pressure of hunger, fatigue, and thirst.

Ench'allah our workdays are shortened to 5 or 6 hours instead of the traditional 7 or 8.

The typical schedule of Ramadan is like so: workers leave around 3pm and go home to nap; women often forego the nap to cook up a feast for their family.  The first meal is "iftar" and begins at sundown, or 8pm.  There are still three meals - by they are spaced out throughout the night, with the last meal at 4am.  Then the cycle of fasting, fatigue, and sleeping begins once more.

Though I am not muslim, I will partake in the fasting out of respect to my co-workers and host family.  I am also deeply spiritual and will uphold Ramadan to partake in my own spirituality and hone in patience.  The main question I am asking myself, though, is how long it will take my body to adjust to this new plan.  And, of course, given the custom of feasting and merrying throughout the night - whether I will be gaining weight or losing weight through the week.

Nevertheless I am so blessed to be in Jordan during a time of such faith and joy and cannot wait to see the changes in the city!