Ma'a Salama Jordan

I am currently sitting at the terminal of the Queen Alia airport, waiting to board the first flight that will take me to Dubai and another that will take me to Washington Dulles.  In many ways, I am excited for this trip and beyond excited to be heading back to America and the comfort of my own home.

Speaking of home, last night Mama and Leen surprised me while I was packing with beautiful parting gifts.  Leen bought me a beautiful beaded pearl-eque necklace and Mama brought me a cuffed bracelet.  I was touched by these gifts, and will cherish them as momentos of the good memories I made with my host family.

I had a cheerful but also poignant exchange with my host family last night after I had finished stuffing my plethora of souvenirs and clothes into my suitcases.  I timidly went into the living room, where the family was watching television, and told them that I had a wonderful time in Jordan, that they were great as a host family, and that although I wish my Arabic had been better I enjoyed my experience.  They in turn told me that they were glad to hear this and that they had always hoped to make the house a home for me.  Touched by the exchanged, I spent the rest of the night contemplating my host family experience.

There were barriers to communication between me and the family because I did not know Arabic and had not come to Jordan to study the language (though I did pick up quite a bit during my stay!).  At times, my schedule prevented me from interacting fully with the family - they were often busy traveling or working.  Dalia, who I shared a room with, often did not come home until midnight due to her shop keeping part-time job.

Regardless, being with a host family was a greatly immersive experience.  It gave me perspective about the culture of the city; I realized that many Arab and Muslim families were not much different from Western families.  This is definitely not true of all families, but Mama often walked around the house scantily clad, and my host sisters would stay out very late hanging out with friends. 

It was also a great place to come back to after a frustrating day dealing with Shebabs and taxi drivers and realize that this was not the dominant Jordanian culture.  My host brother and Baba were so respectful of women and considerate that it was easy to forget the annoyance of other men.

When I look back on my experiences, I remember the day to day of going to work, eating Middle Eastern cuisine, working out, blogging, reading, and talking.  However, the excursions and trips to different areas of the country were what made the experience.  I cannot believe that I can tell people that I had the wonderful experience of swimming in the dead sea, or of exploring Petra, or of riding a camel, or of exploring castles, or of staying with a Bedouin tribe.  And yet even these experiences were part of the day to day of our stay, which makes it even more incredible and dream-like.

A girl from our program compiled a video montage of our stay - listening to the music and watching all of the glorious and best times of the experience literally brought me to tears, which is a huge feat because I almost never cry when I leave places. I did not cry when our family moved, nor when I left my grandparents home in China, nor even when I graduated high school.  Yet I cried thinking back on Jordan.

In time I may miss my daily taxi rides, the Mansaf, the Arabic, and even our cultural immersion classes at SIT.  Even now, sitting at the terminal of the airplane, it does not seem real that I am leaving the country.  Yet I know that in a few minutes time, I will be sailing in the sky, saying goodbye to the vast, dry expanse of dessert and goodbye to Amman.  Rather than being greeted by the gold of the sands of Amman, I will see the green of trees and the blue of water.

One More Iftar

My suitcase is sitting at the edge of my bed, half full with clothes and stuffed with souvenirs and trinkets.  I remember folding my clothes earlier this morning and being beyond excited that I would be coming back to the states.  Now I am starting to realize how much I will miss many parts of Amman.  However, I will save the sentimental and reflective post for tomorrow, the night before I actually leave.

Where to start? Pre-departure we were required to finish a DukeEngage evaluation of our program that had me really thinking back on my experience both in a group and culturally.  There are many parts of the program that I enjoyed, such as the Southern Excursion, but there is also much room for improvement.  I believe my trip would have been much better if I had a roommate, and this was my biggest complaint.  In addition our program de-valued the group experience - there was minimum team bonding.  Being separated not only through our homestays but also through our work was perhaps not the best idea.  And although our program directors had good intentions, it was frustrating to see how unorganized some parts of the program were, especially with respect to communication.

But anyways, back to the experience.

Yesterday our group embarked on our last excursion - Ajloun and Jerash.  I was mildly disappointed with our first stop at Ajloun; although the area houses a nature reserve, our program only arranged for us to see the ruins of a castle.  I have seen way too many castle ruins already that they are already old news (haha I cannot believe that I am saying this), and we pushed towards our next destination.

I have been fasting incredibly casually throughout Ramadan, and decided to snack throughout the duration of the trip.  However, several members of our group were still full out fasting, no food or water.  I can only imagine the difficulty that they endured as we were hiking, trekking, and climbing. Props to them!

As we descended into Jerash, I was dumb-founded by the fact that the ruins are located in the middle of a city!

 The architecture was reminiscent of Roman styles, and paths were lined with ionic pillars.  The walking paths were also lined with carved stone rather than simple dirt paths, making the process of walking much easier than in Petra.  I was wonderful to just walk around, imagining how the ancients wandered through the city.  The  city was complete with a Roman-style ampitheater that contained a sweet spot in the middle where voices from the bottom of the theater could project to the steps at the top.

There were monuments and temples carved into the rocks. And pillars. And more pillars. Pillars pillars pillars pillars.  It seems the Jordanians concentrated all of their pillars into one city and one location because they reserved middle eastern architecture for the rest of the country.

After leaving Jerash, we headed over to Iftar at the Tel Al-Rumman resort, a fancy spa and restaurant that is near the Royal Botanic Gardens.  As we arrived almost 2 hours before Iftar, we found the place almost entirely deserted.  To pass the time, we played a game.  We had post-it notes taped to our forehead with the names of somebody dead, alive, or fictional and had to ask people questions to find out our name.  Round one concluded with me discovering that I was Rosie Williams - a fellow DukeEngage student.  Round two was interrupted by the arrival of our program coordinators (but I found out later that my note read Anastasia).  I have realized that I am not so great at asking narrowing questions, but that playing these games is a great source of fun!

Dinner was buffet-style, with traditional rice, meat, and salad dishes.  After the meal was over, we were serenaded with Arabic music and regaled with energetic dancing.  A small boy on stage, twirling and twirling gracefully for at least an hour in a style reminiscent of ballroom or latin.  All in all, an enjoyable experience for our last SIT dinner!

And today I had a productive day as well. Post-workout, I finished souvenir shopping and even snagged myself some nail polish in the process.  After shopping, another iftar outside of the house!  We were invited to the home of Naser Tahboub, a political science professor at the University of Jordan who is also a Duke alumni.

I committed the social faux pas of being the first one to arrive at the party: my taxi driver was very familiar with the neighborhood Professor Tahboub resided in and got me there in a speedy manner.  Anyways, my host was gracious enough to give me a tour of his spacious yard and the inside of his beautifully decorated house.  Apparently he lives across the street from the King's Uncle and also resides in the same neighborhood as many wealthy entrepreneurs.  Given the relatively luxuriousness of his house, I certainly believe it.

Dinner was standard Jordanian cuisine, but I met many of his lovely relatives.  We conversed about taking the SATs, choosing a career, being sexually harassed as a woman, and many other topics.  One woman, Mays, was on her way to becoming a doctor when she had a change of heart during her final year of university and changed to business.  It was great to listen to her talk about the lack of an innovative education program in Jordan (everything is memorization) and about her wish to travel the world.  I wish I had met these ladies earlier and discussed more.

Tomorrow, I will have to finish packing. Parting will truly be bittersweet - I miss home, but I know that I will soon miss Jordan after being home.  It is time to make the most of my tomorrow, my last day.

Saying Goodbye to the Gardens

Today begins the last five days that our group has in this county, and it was also the last day that I had at work.

Although I was originally tasked with writing grants and had my own project with crafting an environmental policy framework, those projects were finished very quickly (too quickly for my taste).  As of the last few days, my job involved completing odd jobs such filling out applications to invite new interns as well as reorganizing the library system in the office.  Though I was ready to be done with the odd jobs, I was not ready to say goodbye to the people from my work.

I work in a small office, and got quite close to both of my bosses (see my earlier post about James and Habiba).  Tareq, the CEO of the Gardens also frequently comes to chat with me.  Though he is Jordanian, he speaks perfect English and is well-versed in Chinese.  He grew up in Taiwan, where he went to international school - I have learned that almost all of the wealthy families send their children to international school out of the country.  His sister continues to live in Shanghai and is perfectly fluent in Chinese, and he tells me that he visits often.  I have often joked with him that he's probably been to more places in the US and China than I have, which is rather shameful.

I was introduced to the Princess herself when she came in to work, which is quite rare.  I think that she was surprised to meet me and may not have even know that I had been working in the office for weeks.  She was reserved and seemed startled, which would explain why she did not say much when Tareq introduced us.  However, she was nevertheless friendly.

Anyways, my goodbye today was rather awkward because I had to interrupt a meeting to say goodbye to Tareq and Habiba.  However, it was nevertheless very heartfelt and Habiba hugged me very tightly, making me promise that I would keep in touch.  Both she and Tareq were very adamant that I had done a great job at work and should contact them in the future if I needed any references.  What sweethearts.

On a brighter note, I had the most lovely dinner yesterday night.  Rosie, a fellow DukeEngager who works at the Jordan Media Institute (JMI), invited us over to her boss's luxury apartment in Abdoun.  I had anticipated a standard Jordanian household with a feast of rice, chicken, and pita.  

But everything about the dinner was ten times better than I had ever hoped.  We were greeted by quietly clear classic music, including some violin concertos that I had played from Suzuki.  His apartment was beautifully decorated with abstract oil paintings (which were done by his brother, a well-known artist in Jordan, how wonderful!), his living room was tastefully arranged to have plenty of open space, and there were piles of travel books stacked across the coffee tables. Simply perfection.

He and his wife were British Jordanians, and it was intriguing to listen to their experiences traveling between cultures.  Before working in Jordan, he had worked at the ITN and BBC and reported various conflicts throughout the middle east.  They were both incredibly well traveled, having visited and even lived in many countries in the Middle East, Europe, and Asia.

And the food was superb.  Rosie made the (great) mistake was telling her boss that we were all vegetarian.  They put together a delicious vegetable-based cuisine that continued quinoa, salad, simmered eggplants, stuffed crispy cheese rolls, and the most delicious vegetarian lasagna ever.  I had to stop myself from going back over and over again.  Then his wife brought out dessert - American style apple crumble! It was the best meal I could possibly hope for, with wonderful company.  

During dinner, we talked with him and his wife about our experiences in Jordan, especially with regards to feeling unsafe when walking down the streets and harassment by youth males (shebabs).  Although that part of the trip has been less than ideal, I have begun to realize that it is particularly directed towards tourists and is not incredibly common for upper-class women.  How interesting.

Nevertheless, it was an incredibly night.  All of these events are bringing our trip full circle. Tomorrow we head for one more excursion - this time to Jerash.  This was a famous ancient religious area and is now a tourist area that hosts a famous summer dance and music festival.  After Jerash we will go to Ajloun, an outdoorsy region that is famous for its wildlife reserve and acts a tourist hiking region.  This sounds like so much fun and I can't wait until we get to see these places tomorrow! 

This Place I Call Home

This is the last week of my trip before I leave the country to return to America.  It is just a week longer that I will remain in Jordan, and even less time that I have at my job!

If you had asked me at the beginning of my trip if I would be missing this country, I would have given a mixed answer that bordered on no.  I was the only student in my group that was relegated to my own host family, unlike some of the other DukeEngage kids I was also working at my own organization, and there were no outside interns from other colleges or even highschools within my office to boot.  I also spoke no Arabic and did not know how to navigate myself through what seemed to be an immense city streaming with activity of all kid, both benevolent and .... not.

Of course, all of that changed throughout my stay.  I connected with my wonderful, attentive, generous host family and delighted in the company of my co-workers.  Our DukeEngage group not only became familiar with parts touristy parts of the city but began to immerse within Jordanian culture.  We explored all parts of the country, from other cities to Bedouin villages to the dessert and natural wonders.  I picked up the language and held my own against wolf-whistles and brazen taxi-drivers.  I bartered at shops, I realized exactly how late to show up at work so that I wouldn't be the first one waiting outside, learned to throw my toilet paper in the trashcan instead of the toilet, could cross highways brazenly during rush hour, stopped even noticing the military men standing outside with their rifles, and even felt comfortable engaging with locals.

One day I woke up and forgot that I was in another country, that I was in somebody else's home.  This country and home felt like my own, and still does.

What will it be like to return to the United States?  I wonder if it will take me some time to realize that I could drive around the roads in my own car instead instead of waiting for a taxi.  I wonder if it will feel strange that nobody blatantly stares at me whenever I walk around because I look different (...I sure hope not).  Or how long it will take me to realize that I can dress freely without worrying about harassment.

I wonder how long it will take me to fearfully miss my Jordan family and the people at work.

Like Hala, the cheerful Somalian receptionist at work always greets me at work with a smile.  On my first day of work, she happily directed me through the office (especially the kitchen and bathroom, the necessities as she called them) and then took me downstairs to the cafeteria to buy lunch.  Today she was gleefully running through the office, joking with the researchers, and told me that I looked like "an Indian princess from Disney" as she tugged on my braid.  As much as I disagree with this, I know that I will miss her.

I'm not so sure.............

And then there's my host sister Leen and my Mama.  Two days ago Mama's brother hosted a Ramadan party and invited their very large family over for Iftar (besides her and her brother she also has five other sisters).  Yes it was slightly awkward because they were all speaking in Arabic, but Mama and Leen would often come over and hug me, chat with me, encourage me to sample more of the traditional dishes.  At home we talk about Islam, Jordan culture, Egypt, and the work they do with refugees.  They are kind hearted people.

Yesterday I went to fast-walk again (read my earlier post about this for information).  Hala, one of the girls I had met last time, called me and asked if I was coming, to which I cheerfully acquiesced.  I was surprised that my Mama didn't blink an eye when I said I would be gone from 10pm to past midnight, but then again everyone stays out very late for Ramadan.

I met up with Omar and his friends at the fastwalk, including two high school girls who wanted to study abroad in America.  Olivia, a DukeEngage girl, was there with her adorable little host sister.  Omar and I met up with Hala, who brought Charlotte - a high-school girl she was hosting from New York, a quarter of the way through the walk.

To be perfectly honest, I had been dreading the walk before.  I was tired, it was dark, and the place was far from my home.  But talking with Hala, Charlotte, and Omar, I had a wonderful time!  They are also sweet and kind people - Omar even jumped over the railing of the highway to pick up my phone when I dropped it!  They were also very mature and responsible for their age, already working and talking about traveling through the world on their own.  They seem genuinely very interested in American culture and Asian culture and passionate about life.  At the conclusion of the walk, I was invited to spend time with them downtown in Amman next week and I can't wait to go with them!  Hala even offered to drive me home because she was worried that the taxi drivers would be dangerous at night (despite my protestations that I had gone back many times and it was quite safe).

Amman and Jordan have both its good and its bad, but don't all cities? With the friends I've made, the love of the culture and city that I have developed, I know that boarding the plane next week will be bittersweet. I will make sure to savor every second that I have left.

Iftars upon Iftars

During Ramadan, life seems to trickle to a halt within Jordan's society and become a life of fatigue, stress, and food.  Even though the day is supposed to go on as usual, let's face it - everyone wakes up at least four hours later than usual due to the fact that they had to get up and eat a meal at 3:30 in the morning (called Suhoor) and also to avoid feeling hunger for great lengths throughout the day.

Yesterday our group was invited to the home of Natalie's aunt to enjoy an Iftar feast.  Her entire family turned up for the celebration, and we were introduced to multitudes of aunts, uncles, and cousins.  Her aunt lives in a large house in the wealthy district of Khalda, a rarity in Amman.  We chatted around the living room for what seemed like eternity, waiting for the clock to strike 7:50.  As Iftar neared, we were sheparded outside into a beautiful patio deck, where massive plates of sealed dishes were waiting.

However, I have decided that nothing beats "Iftar" with the family.  When I am at home with my host family, I can appreciate the vast amount of effort that goes into preparing and cooking a meal on an empty stomach, as each dish takes an hour to make.  The meals are a labor of love from the ladies of the house!  At 7:50, the entire family gathers around the table and savors their cup of water with a sweet date.  Today, I was treated to Maqluba and stuffed grape leaves.

After Iftar, our group met at the Cantina Cafe to discuss our work and homestay experiences thus far.  Though the general consensus was that our stay has been enjoyable, many students brought up issues they had at work.  It seems that the slow pace of Ramadan has gotten to everyone, and many are dissatisfied with the slow and unproductive pace of their work.  Many students suggested improvements for next year's program, including shortening the stay, introducing a group component of the internship such as a joint project, and having more basic Arabic training before we separated into homestays.

We also celebrated Natalie's 20th birthday at the Cantina Cafe, and I couldn't help but grin at her sheepish face with the restaurant began playing birthday music at full blast and our large group sang to her in english as the rest of the restaurant watched on.  What a delightful way to end the evening!

The only downside is that Marissa, a DukeEngager who lives close by, is going to leave us early and return to the United States.  She said goodbye to us from the cafe, and we hugged her goodbye. I know that I, as well as the rest of the group, will sorely miss her presence during Ramadan.

Ramadan Kareem

I experienced a moment of pure happiness when the first bites of soup hit my lips.  The growling within my stomach was demanding that I feed, the parched feeling on my lips was demanding that I drink, yet the stillness within my house and the neighborhood demanded that I not move.

As I drifted in and out of sleep, I realized that if I did not have sustenance soon I would simply fall asleep and wake up the next morning post-coma.  Soon, I was awoken by a blaring alarm and loud voices emanating from the television, announcing that it was "iftar" - time to break the Ramadan fast.  

My host family had rushed to the kitchen, each clutching a sweetened date and glass of water that marked the fast-breaking ritual.  I joined in as they ladled out cups of soup and salad - one always breaks the fast with watery food before careening into rice with zucchini and yogurt.  What a feast!

Ramadan is a time of peace, where people become more in touch with their spirituality and faith.  I am starting to see how this is definitely the case; it takes every ounce of spirituality to plow on through with work and the day without drinking or eating, overcoming physical sensations. And to imagine 30 days of this!

My sister Leen informed me that one always eats an odd number of dates to break the fast.  Although this is simply tradition, it apparently has some scientific backing as well.  If you eat an odd number of dates, the sugar from the dates goes into your bloodstream to energize you rather than accumulating into fat.

...I'm not at all sure how that works, but I used it to justify my eating of the dates. They were very delicious indeed!

But enough about Ramadan! Last night I had a blast partaking in a fabulous local experience.  So for the longest time I assumed that almost nobody around the city exercised.  Gym memberships are sparse, and it is near impossible to see anybody jogging through the streets.  However, what I realized was that many people participated in an event called "Fastwalk". 

Once every three days a local group sponsors an event, whereby youths across Jordan put on their yellow vest and walk 10 kilometers through the city!  Anyone is welcome to join, as long as you wear a yellow vest and follow the event's rules, and many people do.  Two other girls from my DukeEngage group and I decided to participate, despite this walk being from 10pm until midnight. But alas, I really wanted to explore the city and squeeze in an exercise.

I was blessed to befriend several locals during my walk, Omar and Hala. We discussed everything from college life to social stereotypes to our future career goals.  They were genuine and energetic, making me feel very welcome through the walk which left me energized rather than tired by the end of our journey!  We exchanged numbers and I hope to see them again, whether through fastwalk or outside of it.

As I reflect back on my journey, I feel so blessed to have learned so much, met so many great people, and done so much great work. I cannot believe I only have two more weeks left in this wonderful country.

A New Earth

Coming back to Amman has brought with it familiar sounds, sites, and experiences.  And of course there are the same old stresses - arguing with taxi drivers early in the morning who pretend their meters are broken, sipping tea and pounding out papers at work, fidgeting with the internet connection at home.

Yesterday our DukeEngage group was again invited to the US embassy (in my previous post I mentioned how we went for the first time because the ambassador graduated from Duke.)  We were greeted by delicious desserts - trays of exotic sweets such as baklava and more traditional bets such as snickerdoodles and chocolate chip cookies.

As I munched away and tried to fend off a sugar rush, we were introduced to other Duke prospects and graduates who lived in Jordan.  Among them was a rambunctious old man who taught political science at the University of Jordan.  He regaled us with his story of how he lived and partied on Central Campus and laughingly flirted with his amused British research assistant.  He also invited us to his house for Ramadan dinner.

Speaking of Ramadan, the fasting will begin tomorrow.

I am both excited and apprehensive about taking part in this cultural experience.  On one hand, I have so much respect and admiration for the Muslims for the act of fasting for 16 hours everyday for a month.  No food, no water, no smoking, no cursing... The goal of this experience is identification and connection with faith and cultivation of virtues such as patience.  One the other hand, I am not sure of how long I can join in without cracking under the pressure of hunger, fatigue, and thirst.

Ench'allah our workdays are shortened to 5 or 6 hours instead of the traditional 7 or 8.

The typical schedule of Ramadan is like so: workers leave around 3pm and go home to nap; women often forego the nap to cook up a feast for their family.  The first meal is "iftar" and begins at sundown, or 8pm.  There are still three meals - by they are spaced out throughout the night, with the last meal at 4am.  Then the cycle of fasting, fatigue, and sleeping begins once more.

Though I am not muslim, I will partake in the fasting out of respect to my co-workers and host family.  I am also deeply spiritual and will uphold Ramadan to partake in my own spirituality and hone in patience.  The main question I am asking myself, though, is how long it will take my body to adjust to this new plan.  And, of course, given the custom of feasting and merrying throughout the night - whether I will be gaining weight or losing weight through the week.

Nevertheless I am so blessed to be in Jordan during a time of such faith and joy and cannot wait to see the changes in the city!

Southern Excursion

Salaam from the beautiful shores of Aqaba! I am currently sitting in the Intercontinental (a lovely five star resort) which is located on the edge of the Dead Sea. Can you say best internship ever?

The past four days have been absolutely wild.  Having left the city of Amman four days ago, we embarked on a tour and guided learning experience of the southern Jordanian regions.  We have respectively visited Dana, Petra, Wadi Rum, and are now at our final destination.

Day One: Dana








After driving an hour from Amman, we landed at the scenic Kayak Castle and wandered through the ruined premises.  After sweating from climbing through the ruins under the scorching sun, I was happy to get on the tour bus once more and believed the physical portion of the tour finished. How wrong I was!

Our bus dropped us off at an eco-lodge, a quaint little village with a rustic exterior and an interior reminiscent of a tent or hut.  After braving the mosquitoes and large scorpion in the corner of the room, we were called out for a nature hike.  This involved walking ten kilometers down a thorny mountain trail until we reached the bottom of the valley.  Despite the wear and tear on my hiking clothes and body, I was appreciative of the scenic beauty of the valley and the wildlife - there were lizards and jackals around the trail, though we did not run into the latter.

After the bottom of the valley, our tour guide lit a small campfire and pulled a tea set out of his backpack! We stopped to admire the mountains and take a tea break, then trekked all the way up. By the time we headed up, the eco-lodge was a welcome vision of comfort.

Day Two: Petra

As one of the wonders of the ancient world, Petra is the most visited tourist destination in Jordan.  In the Arab tradition, Petra is where Moses struck rock to elicit a spring of water.

Our DukeEngage group trekked through the dusty valley trail, viewing with awe the mountains on either side of us and the horses and donkeys that were passing us by.  In the mountains were carved sculptures and monuments - tributes from the ancient Nabataeans civilization to the Gods and to mourn their dead.

The entire hike took upwards of 5 hours.  We detoured from the monuments to climb up to the Sacrificial Altar, which proved to be an upwards stair-climb of ten kilometers.  However, the view at the top was glorious - one could see the entire ancient city from the top.  Another detour led us to the famous monastery, the largest monument in Petra that the civilization dedicated to their Gods. 

Sore, tired, but utterly amazed at the beauty of the landscape, I showered and fell into a comfortable night's rest.

Day Three: Wadi Rum

Wadi Rum is translated literally into "Valley of the Moon."  The area consisted of a sand dune and large mountain formations.  Rather than staying at a lodge or hotel, our program director sheparded us into a Bedouin-style campground.  

We settled into our tents, sitting on traditional futons around the campfire.  As the sun began to set, we were loaded into the back of pick-up trucks.  Around the desert sands we flew, as the sensation of driving through the sands - alternatively rocky and smooth - reminded me of sailing through the ocean.

As the sun set, we loaded off from off our jeeps and sat at the top of a shallow mountain, watching small lights begin to flicker from within the camps.


On our return to the lodge after sun-down, we were served chicken and potatoes that had been roasted in an underground metal pit, which tasted beyond delicious!

Our evening ended with a serenade from a Bedouin band, which erupted in traditional dance from a large amount of tourists.  As the stars spread throughout the sky, creating the clearest and most beautiful view of the milky way I have yet seen, we dragged our mattresses outside and shared stories while star-gazing.  

It was a night beyond comparison. It seemed as if hundreds of shooting stars crossed the night sky as I lay down.  I tried to picture the various constellations but only succeeded in identifying the North Star.  We stayed up and talked until the sun rose in the wee hours of the morning, then utterly collapsed into sleep! 

Day Four: Aqaba

...Only to be awoken a few hours later to ride camels!

Riding the camel was possibly one of the most harrowing parts of the journey, perhaps even more so than hiking.  Even as I tried to remain calm and collected as I sat in between its humps, the camels gave me little confidence in my ability to remain on them without falling.  My dismount was rough at best, as the camel leaned forward trying to shake me off. 

Fortunately we all made it in time for a Bedouin-American breakfast of pita with jam and eggs.  As the tour bus took us away from Wadi Rum and towards Aqaba, I fell asleep deeply and contentedly.

What a beautiful, exhausting, rewarding, tiring, breath-taking trip that I went on.  I am so grateful for the ability to so fully explore the Jordanian wilderness and ancient wonders and will remember it for the rest of my life.  

Duke Friends and Cooking

What a wonderful few pre-excursion days I've had!  A little before the summer started one of my best friends from Duke - Pawan - told me that he might also be in Amman for a few weeks of the summer.  Last week, I found out that he had landed in the country - and of course I was very excited to meet up with him. What are the chances of hanging out with a college friends who lives across the country during the summer, much less in a different country!

We made plans to meet on Shariah Rainbow (Rainbow Street) at Turtle Green and walk down the street to find a nice place for an authentic Jordanian dinner.  Half a hour before, he called me and told me that he would be joining me with several members of his church group.  Apparently he is here over the summer as part of a Christian group (in a pre-dominantly Muslim country, so this made it very impressive for me) to work with Syrian refugees and tutor the younger children.  

Anyways we all met up at Turtle Green and decided that the cafe was too smokey to be a relaxing and healthy dinner place and wandered the streets until finding a high-class restaurant hidden next to a furniture shop.  

  

                 (Duke represent! Aww yeah)

I wasn't feeling hungry and planned to order a large appetizer, but Pawan made fun of me incessantly about this so I ended up getting grilled lamb skewers stuffed with grape leaves and herbs.  They actually tasted fantastic, so I was glad that I was goaded into ordering them.  The rest of dinner was spent catching up on how our summers had been, what our experiences here were like, and the upcoming school year. It was really nice to get an infusion of Duke at this period of my stay in Jordan.

Fast forwarding to today, I ended up cooking Chinese food for my host family.  I picked one of the easiest recipes in the book - fried rice - because of the lack of authentic Asian spices and soy sauce.  Even though I insisted on cooking the entire meal myself, my Mama pretty much took over the process when she saw how slowly I was chopping the garlic. 

Despite the utter lack of ingredients (I had to run to the super market to buy eggs and veggies because they had run out), I'm relatively happy with the way that things turned out.  We chopped up the onions and garlic, frying them on the girdle until they sizzled, then added four beaten eggs.  After the eggs solidified, we added rice and scooped in the defrosted vegetables and added in seasoning.  Stir, steam, sit, and serve! 

Zaki if I say so myself.

Now I'm busy packing for our excursion tomorrow which I could not be more excited for.  See you in four days, Amman!

Sweet Days

Our DukeEngage group gathered yesterday for orientation of the Southern Excursion that we will be embarking on in three days. Our SIT directors have arranged for us to tour in Dana, Petra, Wadi Rum, and Aqaba, four major tourist areas of Jordan.  Of course, besides being destinations where we can ride on camels (could not be more excited for this!) they are historical centers of Jordan and we will be given a guided tour of castles, ruins, and the great outdoors.

However, before we were briefed on our excursion the program had us watch a movie called "Amreeka", a film that was released in 2009 that documents the life of a Palestinian single-mother family that immigrates to America to start a new life.

 I found the movie both incredibly amusing and poignant at times.  Essentially, the mother Muna and the teenage son Fadi move in with Muna's sister during a time where Arabs are discriminated against due to post-9/11 fear of terrorism.  The son is picked on at school and the mother, despite having two degrees and a decade of work experience in finance, is relegated to the fast food industry.  Though the movie has heartwarming and funny moments, it just really made me think.

My parents (who I am sure are reading this blog post, so shoutout to you guys) immigrated with me to America around 17 years ago.  They held minimum-wage jobs while taking care of me, still a toddler, and while being enrolled in university.  Through a combination of hard work, dedication, brains, and luck they managed to piece together a quality living and somehow reached the American dream.  But there are so many immigrants who come to America thinking it's a land of gold and riches, and I'm sure that many of them end up like Muna - working menially despite being very smart and passing on most of their dreams to their children.  My heart breaks for them. And my heart goes out to my parents, who had to overcome the almost insurmountable!

Anyways on a lighter note, after all of the information regarding orientation and the movie, we headed to Habibeh, most of the most famous restaurants in Amman - and that happens to be a sweets shop. Located in one of the most touristy areas, it is a two story desserts restaurant. Which already sounds fantastic.

But it was sooo much better than I expected. As we walked in to the vast expanse of sweets sitting at every counter, I realized that there were chefs behind each counter making desserts in real time.  There were trays of knafa (see my earlier post on Jordanian desserts), and other nutty and caramelized pastries as well as huge  displays of large chocolate and coconut truffles. I'm drooling just thinking back on it.

But even better - the escalator took us to the second floor which turned out to be a super fancy dining area.  Except instead of meals, the menu was entirely desserts.  I have a bit of a sweet tooth, so I found this to be incredibly lovely.  Regrettably, I had indulged at dinner so I contented myself with an iced peach tea and mooched off of other peoples knafas.  Fortunately I will almost definitely go back to that store, as my boss invited me on a desserts date with her!

   This city keeps on presenting me with more and more surprises and I can't wait to see more of it. Though of course I'm also very eager to see the rest of Jordan as well.

Summer Reading

Though experiencing the city of Jordan has been exciting, as has experiencing the lovely Arabic culture and spending time with my host family and DukeEngage group, I'm beginning to grow addicted to my daily routine and the amount of free time that I'm able to channel into various projects that I have never gotten around to doing during school.  Here's a little snapshot of my day to day -

Wake up at 7:30-8 Depending on how much I'm attracted to my bed, I will either get up earlier or later. It's rather pleasant because my bed is right by the window, so the first thing that I see is sunlight and the first thing I hear are bird chirping.  And yes, it's always sunlight - it has not rained once since I came. I try to start the day off with 5 minutes of meditation and a light bit of yoga or journaling before I take a quick breakfast and flag down a taxi to work.

Get to office at 9 Sometimes I will consciously force myself to get there later, because I know that if I am too early the door will the locked, as nobody comes in early to work (unless our boss is there).  I'll set my bag down at the front cubicle I occupy that happens to be farthest from the air conditioning since it gets really cold around the office. Then I take out my work legal-pad, plug in my laptop, and work diligently for the next few hours.

...Just kidding. I'll usually start off my work hours checking out news headlines, facebook, etc. But then it's on to my work, where I am developing a policy framework and writing a position paper for implementing Access and Benefit Sharing for biodiversity conservation and indigenous protection.  Depending on the day, I may also be heading to a conference with my boss to hear a presentation or attend a workshop for the state of sustainability in the Middle East.

Of course the productivity in my work is aided by grooveshark, youtube, and other sites that provide adequate music to tide me through the day.

Head to the gym at 4:15 My work day ends at 4, and it usually takes a while to call a taxi that does not blatantly attempt to overcharge me.  Then I will head out to Fitness One, one of the only female-only gyms in Amman.

I love looking outside the window from the taxi and into the crowded city. During rush hour, cars will be swerving in every which direction in the streets and brave pedestrians will be calmly "frogger-ing" through even the busy highway. Regardless, I enjoy looking up at the skyscrapers and trying to decipher the names and purposes of the endless street shops.  

On days that I don't go to the gym, our study abroad program (SIT) usually has some event or lecture planned for us.  Earlier in the program, we were learning survival Arabic techniques and lately we have been receiving cultural lectures such as the role of the Jordanian government and women's movements that have emerged in the city. It's all very fascinating and I am sometimes amazed at the ability of our SIT coordinators to invite relatively distinguished lecturers such as professors from Jordan University to speak with us.

Home at 7 When I get home, my host mama and sister are already back and I will unwind by chattering with them about my work, their work, and trying to learn some Arabic. Usually my host mama has some wonderful food already prepared as well, and I eat it with delight as I am famished after my stint at the gym. However, she and my sister do not join us because it is customary for Jordanians to eat dinner very late at around 9 or even 10 pm (they eat lunch at around 4 or 5 pm, I will never fully understand this). 

Post-dinner, I may do a little bit of light yoga or head straight into my mini-projects. One of these is attempting to recombine song lyrics and create remixes. Or I start right into working on my fiction novel. If I'm really tired, all I really want to do is read "Atlas Shrugged", which is an amazing novel by Ayn Rand that espouses the principals of Objectivism. The philosophy itself I don't agree with, but the characterization and plot are so far superb.

Other days, where I am feeling more active or post-lecture at SIT, I usually do not get home until 10 to 11 pm because our group will eat dinner and have fun around the city. A few days ago I saw Monsters University in theaters - and I must say that the movie was absolutely fantastic and full of so much heart-jerking comedy.

Bedtime by 12 I've become such a homebody at this point that I usually cannot make it past midnight without completely passing out in my bed.

 Usually, as I'm passed out my iPhone is hidden and snuggled right under my pillow or still glowing in my hand.  

Being a Woman

Islam is probably notorious for how it has manifested in the treatment of women.  In many middle eastern countries, women have less political power and social mobility.  Kuwait, for example, only just granted women the right to vote in 2005 and Saudi Arabia still has not granted full voting rights.  Women are now obtaining high levels of education and rapidly entering the work force, but this applies primarily in the cities.  Having lived in a Bedouin village, I can attest that there is still a very conservative emphasis on values.  Women do the cooking, cleaning, and raising of children and will stay at home expecting to fill these roles.

I'm not going to go into all of the details about women and gender roles, because that opens a huge box of issues.  I will briefly mention a few though.

Despite common misconceptions, these oppressive gender roles do not rise out of the Islamic religion itself, but is more of a social consequence of it.  That is not to say that people will not use the Qur'an to to justify unequal lady treatment, because they sure do. For example, in Mosque it is the custom for women to always sit behind the men and kneel behind them during prayer.

Women are expected to dress conservatively. Since I have been here, I have not seen a single woman wear shorts or sleeveless shirts on the streets.  Most women wear long pants, and a long sleeve shirt.  In fact, skirts that go to your knees are considered rather scandalous; when I walked back from the dinner with the US Ambassador wearing a formal knee-length black and white dress, I heard catcalls from men down the street and in cars.  Women are also expected to sit in the back seat of taxis and cars; men always sit in the front, and - as I observed on my bus to work - men would rather crowd in the front seat than sit in the back where there are vacancies.

I have grievances against many of the men in this city.  It is difficult to generalize, as there are also many men I have encountered who are kindhearted and respectful of women.  For example, my host brother Zed and my host father are both very kind and several taxi drivers have engaged me in meaningful conversation about the culture of the city.  On the other hand, many taxi drivers have verbally harassed me.  I will never forget the taxi ride where the driver consistently asked me where I lived and leered at me through the rearview mirror before pointing to his chest and asking me how to translate "chest" in English. It was very uncomfortable indeed.  When I walk from the gym or try to call a taxi, I have faced so many instances of men leaning out from their cars, leering in Arabic, and honking - my friend has told me that this has happened to her even when they were obviously with their wives or girlfriends! It's incredible what the men believe to be civilized and acceptable behavior.

On an even more serious note, we attended a lecture at SIT that was given by a Women's Studies professor at Jordan University.  She told us of many atrocities across the city that seem so conservative and yet so dreadful such as suicides of young Jordanian women and honor killings.  These will occur when a young woman has lost her virginity before marriage; she will even be forced into suicide to defend the honor of her family or a male relative may murder her.  In fact one young woman was recently murdered by her father because she had merely chatted with a man on facebook.

And what's worse is the civil code permits a rapist to marry the woman he has raped. Oftentimes her familly will go along with this sham of a wedding in order to - once again - preserve the family's honor. This makes me so angry.

 And because DOMA was overruled in America just yesterday (yay for the court upholding what was already a cultural norm) an honorable mention goes to the concept of how homosexuality is not only shunned and negatively viewed but young gays are brutally murdered. Horrific.

Social movements are now rising through the country that champion the role of young women in society, but it will be a while before anything substantial happens. The misogynistic tendencies are so embedded in the culture and associated with the religion that only a massive overhaul can overrule these traditions.

Policy Initiative

After finishing the various research tasks that my boss, James, had assigned me at work, my job reached a cool down period last week where I had not much to do.  This period was interrupted by our DukeEngage trip to the Badia, and I had prayed that when we returned I would have more productive tasks.

Well my prayer has been answered! When I returned from the Badia, James told me that I was start working on a policy guideline for the National Biodiversity Council for the monarchy.  I was literally giddy with excitement at this opportunity, for a number of reasons.

1. I am passionate about environmental work and believe that it is one of the most important fields for the future of mankind.  For me, there is no question that unless we reverse the impacts of global warming and make changes to improve the ecosystem, there will be catastrophic impacts in human health, animal health, and the biosphere.  And I also truly believe that if we work hard at it, we can improve the situation.

2.  Part of my work is to draft a policy to negotiate intellectual property for genetic engineering of plants (one of my favorite topics ever by the way), which is very intellectually stimulating.  In fact patents are my preferred future line of work, so it could not be more perfect.  But what makes it rewarding for me is that fact that many of these plants exist within Bedouin villages and tribe areas, who have been possibly harvesting the plants for medicinal or other purposes for decades in their own way.  The goal is to allow harvesting of the plants by the Jordanian government and other governments, but to do so in a way that respects the techniques of the locals and engages them in the process.  

3. The draft policy and proposal that I create will be presented in front of a standing committee of Jordanian politicians and inform the workings of the crown.  This is why I love policy work - it has very real implications that impact the government, even if it is seven years down the line.

Essentially, if you haven't already gathered from my excitement above, the crux of my work is research and looking into global Biodiversity legislation that was promoted by the United Nations.  They released the Convention on Biodiversity (CBD) which has branched out into many sub-initiatives to cover all facets of plant work.  I am doing work on the Nagoya Protocol which is focused on Access and Benefit Sharing (ABS), essentially contractual agreements on plant property and patents for local communities.  Very yummy work for me because it's a marriage of environmentalist, policy, and patent law.

I am also blessed to be working with people who are so interested and passionate about the environment.  James had a fascinating path towards coming to the RBG.  He was working in business and on track to becoming an investment banker when he realized that he wasn't passionate about it.  He quit school against his parents' wishes and worked on a fishing boat for a year in Vermont.  Then, to sustain himself, he took up gardening and farming and realized his passion for environmental work, quitting this job and going back to school to study horticulture.  

Habiba is a dear Canadian lady who is reminiscent of the vegan environmentalists who frequent one of my favorite stores, Whole Foods.  She goes to a local organic market every week and buys exotic herbs, sharing them with me when she goes on a weekday.  Passionate and spiritual, she embodies that in her holistic view of both the Middle East and environmental work.

Tomorrow I was told that we would have two new members joining us: a high school intern and a volunteer from America.  I am told that I will be managing the intern, which makes me feel powerful already.  But really it will be nice to share the mission of the RBG with others.  

The Monarchy

There is not a street in Jordan where you will turn and not see a picture of the current ruler, King Abdullah II.    His face is pasted over the side of every skyscraper, the tops of convenience shops, and within restaurants and hotel lobbies.

  Almost as common are pictures of the previous monarch, King Hussein (his father), and his son the Crown Prince Hussein bin Abdullah who is actually studying at Georgetown (so close to my house!).  

As I mentioned in a previous blog post, it is illegal to speak against the government and it is an especially heinous crime to verbally attack the monarchy.  The very fact that their pictures are juxapositioned everywhere guarantees in some small degree their overtures in the minds of most Jordanians.  It's easy to like what is familiar, and it is clear that this principal is especially exploited here.

Having read  an autobiography of Queen Noor (the wife of the late King Hussein), and discussed the issue with fellow DukeEngagers and natives, I feel more knowledgeable about the state of Jordan and its rulers.  Let me briefly explain; the monarchy is certainly not just for show here. There is a Prime Minister, but the King usually gets to pick and kick out this ruler.  Furthermore, any act from government has to directly pass through the hands of the King.  

King Hussein was apparently quite beloved by his people and his popularity remains to this day even after his death.  His father, Talal, was a schizophrenic and ruled the people for a mere year before the 17 year old Hussein had to step in his place.  Throughout his reign, he tried to ensure peace for the middle east and broker negotiations between Israel, the West, and the rest of the Arab world, placing Jordan in its neutral position.  Apparently, Israelis loved him so much that they joked he could be elected into office if he ever moved there.  

The current ruler, Abdullah II, is said to have done much to improve Jordan's economy and initiated a policy to provide quality housing to everyone in the country, including refugees.  However he has also come upon some public concern due to critics' claims that he is too involved in Western ideals.  This is exasperated because his mother, Princess Muna, was a British woman and also that he married Queen Rania, a beautiful Kuwaiti Palestinian woman.  

The situation is further complicated due to charges that the crown is corrupt.  There has been a lot of backlash recently against Queen Rania for squandering the crown's money on lavish affairs such as a birthday party in Wadi Rum where she invited many foreign dignitaries.  She has also been accused of embezzling money from her non-profit, the Jordan River Foundation (JRF).  

Of course, most of the business culture in the country is somewhat corrupt regardless.  Many CEOs and heads of non-profits only receive their jobs due to connections to the crown through their family.  Most of the deals in society as well as done through wining and dining rather than presentations.

Nevertheless, the pictures of the monarchy seem to inspire hope and awe in many of the people. Who knows what the future might bring?

Badia Rundown

My recent excursion into the Bedouin villages was nothing like what I anticipated.  I went into the trip anticipating that we would live in a small hut or a glorified tent with a pen of sheep and cattle in the backyard.    Imagine my surprise when we were shuttled into a rural community with old but relatively modern houses, replete with fences and yards.

I stayed with Natalie, a fellow DukeEngager, in a small house with a family that had four children varying between the ages of 4 to 10.  The first barrier that I encountered was my poor Arabic skills and the inability of the family to speak any English.  Communication was difficult outside of the few broken phrases that I could muster - keef halek (how are you), ana tabane (I am tired), elhamdellulah (I'm full) - and from the hand gestures that I would resort to.  Nevertheless, I was touched by the generous spirit of the mother, who continuously pushed tea and food towards us and cooked delicious meals, and the playful energy of the children.

The life of the Badia is so simple, so humdrum and routine.  It is a life where both men and women are in service of Allah and their family.  The daily life of our host Mama everyday involved cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children, then visiting her mother in law and having hours of conversation or just relaxed repose for hours on end.  As the day came to an end, she would watch some television with her husband and pray.  

To be perfectly honest, I felt as if I would go insane after the first day.  The children constantly surrounded us, leaving us little space for ourselves.  After hours of tickle wars, and various other forms of play, I was mentally exhausted and prepared for some alone time with a good book.  By the end of the trip, I had finished reading an autobiography of Queen Noor - the American-raised wife of King Hussein, the previous monarch of Jordan.  

One of the uncles, the youngest brother of our host Baba, spoke English rather well and took us on a tour to the ruins by the village.  Laced with dried goat dung, it was nevertheless magnificent to see the ruins of so many churches that were so well preserved and told the story of Palestine and Jordan in mosaic detail.  With another family, we walked a kilometer or so to a Bedouin olive tree plantation, which was very beautiful as the dense foliage of the trees contrasted the barren weeds in the rest of the desert.

Despite the beauty of rural Jordanian life, and how interesting the experience was, I am quite happy to be back in Amman - where there is internet, activities, education, and indoor plumbing galore.

Pre-voyage to the Badia Villages

Tomorrow our group will be heading to the Badia in order to gain cultural experience regarding the Bedouin tribal aspects of Jordan.  Literally translated in Arabic, "Bedouin" means "beginning"; essentially, our program directors wanted us to learn not only of the city life in Amman but also of how the culture of the nation began.  All of our directors came from the Badia to live in the city - an interesting fact, as Amman is essentially the only city in Jordan and seems very secluded from the rest of the nation.

I am highly anticipating this trip because I see it as a great way to learn more Arabic and to learn more of the authentic culture in the country.  Although living with my host family in Amman has been great, I have had little chance of practicing my Arabic as their English is far superior to my Arabic.  Furthermore, as they live in the city much of the household resembles a traditional western family.  In the Badia, their English abilities are almost non-existant so we will be challenged to communicate with only Arabic and gestures.

I also continue to hear about the generosity and simplicity of the Bedouin people and the spontaneity of their gestures.  It is ingrained in the culture to be excellent hosts and very giving, even to perfect strangers.  I heard from our director that one year a female student introduced herself to a family, believing them to be her host family, and stayed with them for almost an entire day before the program directors realized that she had not showed up to her true host family.  Meanwhile, the family she was with treated her with grace and courtesy, not even questioning her.

Regardless, I am apprehensive about parts of the stay.  The environment will be doubtless rustic, and we will go for four days without showering.  There will be no air conditioning or air circulation devices to combat the stuffy environment, nor will there be anything protecting me from the copious mosquitoes.  The food will be completely untreated, and I hear that the unpasteurized camel milk or accidental sip of tap water brings about wretched diabetes.

And of course there is no internet. Thus I will do my best to keep away from technology for the next few days and experience the cultural life.  Though it is said that girls do not do much besides housework or sitting around the tent throughout the day, I hope I will have the opportunity to explore the village, milk camels, and witness all facets of village life that will engage me even more.

Souq and Film Festival

Yesterday afternoon a few girls from the group went to the Souq Jara, a market on Rainbow Street composed of vendors with wooden stands displaying beautifully hand-created goodies.  If you can imagine, it is exactly like a loud and colorfully-decorated outdoors flea market that exposes all customers to the overbearingly hot Jordanian sun.

I set off to buy souvenirs for my friends and family.  We toured around the stands, admiring and handling the trinkets, bags, and jewelry pieces from each stand.  There were woven pillowcases, small metallic swords and compasses, hand-made bracelets and necklaces, and multiple stands that were selling local food.  Luckily most of the items are fixed in price so I did not have to bargain with the vendors. Although that might have been quite fun - I can be quite sassy when I want something.

Anyways I scored a bag of loot (maxing out most of my stipend while doing so) and will be excited to bring it back to the United States.  After sweating in the Souq, we all felt the need to cool down, so we headed into Turtle Green (the American hipster-style coffee shop in Jordan) and relaxed to pitchers of iced tea.

That night we were joined with a few guys from the group, as well as a ROTC student from Northeastern, to  head over to the French Arab Cinema.  This is a location on rainbow street that premiers films relevant to Arab culture but in French, with English subtitles.  Surprisingly, there were quite a few people who were interesting in seeing this film as the theatre - though far from jam packed - was relatively full.  I was excited to practice my french skills, so diluted from years of disuse (but luckily still functional... I guess five years of training will do that).

We watched "Renfraine", which was very reminiscent of all the French films that I have ever watched.  Full of angsty meaning and subtle imagery, I nevertheless could not keep myself from smiling as memories of AP French films filled my mind.  The movie depicted the marriage of an interracial minority couple - Arab and Black - and the troubles that each side of the family faced with regards to personal struggles and social prejudice.  It was very interesting, though parts of the movie were quite disturbing.  One part showcased a character appearing to be brutally tortured and murdered before it was unveiled that he was simply acting in a scene for a job.

Afterwards we all headed to a rooftop coffee soup and tried Jordanian desserts.  It was a delightful and culturally-stimulating day that had me believing myself to be part of the city.

Jordanian Youth and Education

At all of our host families, adults continue living with their families until they marry.  My elder host sister is a very sweet girl who has graduated from college for two years and is working with relief camps for refugees from Syria or Lebanon.  However, she continues to live at home and probably will continue to do so until she becomes engaged.

There is a culture of close familial ties that is probably perpetuated by close distances most Jordanians live to each other.  There is good and bad in this.  Close family ties and close distance of relatives means that families are usually quite connected and close... but it also means that children are sometimes very dependent on their parents.  

Mohammed, an Arabic teacher who is incidentally the host brother of one of the students in our group, gave an interesting presentation about the role of family pressure on youth career paths.  There is a mounting pressure to be involved in scientific careers such as becoming a doctor or engineer (haha remiscent of some other cultures).  Pursuing literary and humanity fields is frowned upon.  This explains the vast number of engineers that I have met through work.

Additionally, both of the presenters seemed aggrieved that the youths of Jordan did not take more initiative socially and politically.  In particular, they blamed the Jordanian government and established regime for the complacency and corruption that prevented fair and unbiased information from disseminating.  This was outright shocking to hear - it is rare that any words are spoken against the government.

I have observed much of what they have said.  Not many youths that I know are interested in greater social movement or the political process, though I do not blame them for this as politics is much less publicized and not part of the general culture.  There are too many things to keep busy with already daily to think about what the parliament is planning, what with the shortage of water and the masses of refugees entering the country as well as the threat of terrorism.  However, this means that many youths are quite blind to the platforms of the political parties and the charges of corruption.

Well, I think that with all the uprising in the Middle East (Turkey is really undergoing so much right now) it's hard to ignore politics any longer and that have indicated that youths are growing in power. 

Identity Crisis?

My appearance has never been so interesting to me and others than when I ride taxis and go grocery shopping.  Jordan is very homogeneously Arabic, and anybody who looks different sticks out like a sore thumb.  When I buy my lunch, the grocers and customers do not even attempt to hide their stares and will automatically communicate with me in English.  The attempt at English communication is nice, but the stares are disconcerting at best and I often feel the rudeness of them (though I do understand the curiosity).

However, I'm starting to experience a great deal of culture shock from my appearance.  I dress in very quintessentially American styles and speak English fluently with an American accent.  When the taxi drivers speak to me in English, I have always assumed that it was because they knew I was from America.

Once or twice, the drivers will ask me where I'm from, to which I'll respond America.  To my surprise, every single one of them are called me out and told me that I am not American.  They pointed to my eyes and signaled my face, and told me that I looked Chinese.  Indeed I do look Chinese, and I am ethnically Chinese, but I was raised in America and know so little about the Chinese language and culture that I've never truly considered that for myself.  I have always considered myself a typical American youth - and now - and typical American college student.

To be stared at, to be pointed out so blatantly as foreign, and then to realize that they see me not as the foreigner that I see myself but as somebody else entirely is disconcerting. I've pushed back and firmly told the drivers each time that no even despite how I appeared I was American. I welcome these moments, because they are an opportunity for me to show that one's identity is more than their appearance.